I need help with Co-dependence.
What Is Codependence?
You know that philosophy of life where everyone else’s needs are more important than yours and everyone else has to be happy before you can relax, because whatever it is, you are, or will be…responsible…?
The belief that if someone else thinks you should do something; or that you’re wrong about something - they must automatically know better, and be RIGHT and you must be WRONG?
That kind of thinking?
That’s what co-dependence is.
And it’s a total soul sucking pile of crap!
It will ruin every moment of your life and it will ruin any good relationship you have - it will make you overuse certain coping strategies, like drugs, drinking, food, isolation, gambling, gaming, just to numb out to get a break.
It’s gotta go if you want to live your best life and finally feel at peace in yourself and in your world.
I am here to show you how to overcome co-dependence for good!
Yes! It’s totally possible - and not years from now! Now!
No matter how long you’ve thought or lived that way;
No matter how many people in your current life still act as though this is true;
I will show you how to make sense of life, and of each situation you might find yourself in, so that you feel confident and secure in yourself and in the rightness of your actions - no matter what others think or feel or do. Seriously.
Even if you have no clue how to do that;
Even if you don’t think it’s possible, because you’ve tried…and failed…to speak up for yourself or not feel guilty or responsible for other people’s stuff;
Even if you feel completely hopeless;
The truth is you’re here.
You’re still looking for a solution.
And you’ve found one!
It’s what I call 123 Living.
Living with great self-esteem and building healthy, mutually beneficial relationships is what 123 Living is all about.
It’s your ‘How To’ guide for overcoming codependence once and for all!
How Does Codependence Affect You?
Have you ever had the thought that if someone has a need, or will have a need, you’re responsible for meeting it, even if they never asked, and you never agreed?
How did you feel (anxious or peaceful; worried or content and secure) when you were thinking that way and trying to meet that need?
Have you ever had the thought that if you don’t guess what someone else needs, and meet it before they ask, you’re not a good partner/friend etc. or simply that they’ll get mad at you…?
How did that thought make you feel? anxious? insecure? sad? burdened?
Have you ever had the thought that if you say no to someone they won’t like you? And that somehow, if they don’t like you, it means they are right and there’s something wrong with you?
What did you do?
How did you feel? anxious? sad? pressured? obligated? compromised?
Even if you said no, but thought and felt this way, you’ll still feel bad and that’s not good!
Have you ever had the thought ‘I need to make up an excuse for why I’m saying no’?
How did it feel, inside you?
How did it affect your relationship, even in that moment?
How did if affect your self-esteem and inner chatter to compromise yourself like that?
What did you do after you lied to cope with your stress about lying?
Have you ever thought: ‘I’m a bad person for saying no’
How did that inner character assassination affect how well you took care of yourself in that situation?
How did it affect how you felt about yourself?
What precedent did you set…that you now feel obligated to continue…?
How does that feel? Stressful? Burdensome?
What does it make you want to do, that feeling?
How will that affect you today? How about tomorrow? How about next week? and beyond?
Imagine what it would be like if you could just side-step this whole thing?
Like, seriously, just not buy into it anymore and instead just have inner confidence in what you need, and how you feel, and how valid that is, and how to communicate that in respectful functional ways, so that you know you’ve done your best.
What would that be like? ahhhhhhh…..bliss!
This is sooooo, definitely possible when you have a sound definition for doing your best, and you know that you’re rockin’ it! And I’m here to show you how.
What is your best?
Presuming the situation is not imminently life threatening or harmful - in which case you have to do what needs to be done for the safety of those concerned and sort out the rest later.
Your best, is the solution/step/action/thought that ticks ALL of the following boxes:
What is truly reasonable for you to expect of yourself,
And for others to expect of you,
Only When their request is considered in context with:
Your core values and principles,
The commitments and self-goals and expectations you already have on the table,
And your self-care.
Your best is:
doing your part to think of others, and try to be considerate of their needs,
as well as yourself,
but not compromising any of the above.
No compromising any of the above to meet the needs of others - None!
That is the recipe for good self-esteem and good relationships. Period. No exceptions.
So, if you don’t now how to do your best, for yourself or others, as outlined above, your relationships will have more codependent tendencies and you’ll feel more anxious and insecure in them and in yourself than you need to.
Isn’t life hard enough???
Isn’t living your best life and being your best self hard enough without buying into the irrational and harmful expectations of yourself or others?
Especially when there’s such a simple, easy, sensical solution that will help these people have more consideration, respect and patience for you - if they are capable of that at all.
Join me and learn how to just instinctively naturally think clearly about what is truly best for you and for the other and the relationship you want to build with them.
Great relationships can only flow from your self-awareness, your self-trust, your self-esteem being solid.
It takes just a few short weeks
If you’re here, I know you’re feeling pretty down and stressed, and you don’t have time or energy to waste on anything that is going to be too hard or something that you can’t succeed at.
So, let me tell you, in 27 years of helping people learn this framework for life, I have never once had a client who couldn’t master this. Not once!
That’s because 1 2 3 Living just makes sense, it’s so rational, and reasonable, and fair, and clear and just plain obvious, when you learn it, that it just becomes the obvious way to think and to approach every one and everything in your life.
And in case you’re wondering – It takes just a few short weeks to learn the basics of the foundation.
But from the very first time you try it you’ll notice you feel better, less uncertain, less overwhelmed, less anxious, less exhausted, less urgency to go do that thing you want to stop doing…and more energy and genuine enthusiasm for the things you really want to be doing.
And it just gets easier from there…
Join Me