What is Neuroscience and how will it help you?
Neuroscience is the study of the inner workings of the brain and the nervous system in humans. It uses leading edge imaging and brain mapping tools to literally see inside the human nervous system and brain to better understand human behaviour and learning.
Neuroscience has helped us to refine our understanding of what makes people do, think and feel the things they do, think and feel.
In 27 years as a specialist in the field of addictions, eating disorders, trauma, depression and anxiety - and all of the correlated issues that these problems trigger and stem from, I have watch this field of science blossom with great interest.
For me, neuroscience is key in me being able to show you, with some good science to back me up:
Why you do what you do; and
What’s getting in the way of you being able to do what you want to do.
That’s because, whatever the main issue that brought you to me here, today, the fact is - one of the main issues you are looking to heal from, is the hijacking of your nervous system and instinctive responses.
There are many reasons why your brain might have got hijacked and may now be making things harder for you than they need to be.
It literally happens to everyone, to varying degrees. It’s how the brain is wired to develop naturally. But the process goes a little sideways, or gets a little stuck, in most of us, because there are certain external situations or stimuli that we need in order to fully develop the true capacity of our brain.
And the faster you get a good understanding of how your current instinctive thoughts and reactions to things are harming you or undermining your peace and confidence levels, the faster you will be able to move on to the things that really will make life make sense.
And when you understand why you are thinking, or feeling, or acting as you are, and you have a simple set of tools for figuring out what you really want and need in any situation, you are truly in the drivers seat of your life!
Many spiritual teachers throughout the history of humanity, and many philosophers too have talked about the importance of knowing yourself, and of being able to understand others. Know thyself, was the resounding cry of many of these historical, deep thinkers. And with good reason.
Empathy - one of the founding pillars of what we now refer to as ‘emotional intelligence’, is, by definition, understanding.
And until you understand how you, as a physiological being, are being driven to think certain thoughts, or feel certain feelings, or do certain things, you will always feel more uncertainty and insecurity than you need to in any situation. This uncertainty often naturally turns into an inner voice that is judgemental and critical of you - telling you that it’s your fault you feel as you do, or that others are doing what they are doing in relation to you - it’s your fault somehow, at least that voice in your head says so.
That voice in your head is missing some key information about what is actually happening and why, and in the absence of that information, it has made the best assumptions it can make to try to help you out. The problem is, those assumptions are deeply flawed, and will only lead to more stress and confusion and more of those coping strategies like food, drink, drugs, screens, isolation etc. to get a break, from life and from that nagging voice in your own head.
Imagine never hearing that voice in your head again?
Not the nagging, critical one anyway.
Imagine what that would be like?
The silence…the inner peace…the space you’d have to just be in the moment and enjoy life?
Once you have true understanding for yourself, you naturally begin to have genuine compassion for yourself - and rather than making you complacent or ‘soft’, this compassion inspires and motivates you to be your best self and to help others to do the same. It’s the inevitable outcome of true self-awareness.
And in my 27 years as a professional counsellor I can tell you that when neuroscience developed to the place where I could confidently start to teach it to my clients, they started moving through their recovery and growth like they were supercharged!
Instead of taking a year for lasting change to take root, my clients were experiencing massive and sustainable change within just a few months! And they all reported noticing feeling a lot calmer and more happy and energized in life within just a few weeks.
There is no substitute for self-awareness, empathy and compassion. And understanding neuroscience and the inner workings of your brain and your nervous system and your body and your feelings and thoughts is the fastest path I’ve ever found, in my 50 years on this planet, to build self-awareness, empathy and compassion in a solid and lasting way.
If you’re here, you’re looking for something to be different in your life, maybe even yourself.
You probably feel a sense of great urgency and have zero time or energy to waste.
Well good!
Because what I want to show you will reward your efforts and time immediately -
I’m going to run you through a little quiz below, if you are interested, and you’ll get to see how fast you will pick this up and the massive difference it will make to every area of your life.
You don’t need hours and hours of education on the brain in order to understand the basics and make use of that information in your daily life.
Just a few minutes a day, actually…and a few step-by-step tools are all you need to create massive, lasting change in any area of your life.
The 123 Living program uses the latest clinical studies and advancements in neuroscience to give you the most efficient and effective tools to create lasting change.
We’ll discuss what we know about how the brain develops, how thoughts happen and feelings too. And what is happening on a neurochemical level that drives you to do the things you don’t want to do anymore.
And I’ll teach you a simple step by step process that, because of its design, quickly becomes your instinctive, natural go to whenever you feel at all uncertain, anxious, down or stuck in life.
And once you have that framework life just makes sense.
Imagine how you’d feel when you wake up each day if you could really trust yourself to have your back?
That’s 1 2 3 Living.
As a member of the 123 Living private facebook community and especially as a member of my 123 Living Mastery group program you’ll learn about how your brain works and why you do the things you do - and why others do too!
You’ll learn how to completely sidestep your stuck thinking and you’ll learn some simple brain hacks that stop you from falling prey to common human biases.
You’ll learn how to tell with confidence what is true - not just in your own head but in reality - so you can make solid, clear, simple points to express your thoughts, feelings and needs in any situation.
There are so many benefits of being able to trust that you are thinking clearly and that your actions are coming from intelligent reasoning and not just knee jerk reactions or wishful thinking.
And you’ll experience them all as a member of my 123 Living program.
AND, JUST A NOTE TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT FEEL LIKE THAT KIND OF self-trust and awareness, and the PEACE, EASE, CONFIDENCE AND CONNECTEDNESS that it brings WOULD BE OF INTEREST.
Or MAYBE IT SEEMS BORING…OR STUPID…OR IMPOSSIBLE, OR JUST NOT FOR YOU.
If you don’t want those things for yourself now, or ever - that’s okay.
Neuroscience has shown that some people genuinely feel better when they are stressed or causing others stress.
Yes! It’s true.
For some people, the wiring of their brains is such that pain or suffering, theirs or that of others, actually releases dopamine, the happy hormone!
In fact, for some, the experience of pain releases twice the amount of happy hormone than they’d get from things that bring the average person pleasure.
And so, to feel anxiety or worry, or uncertainty, legitimately feels better than what you would otherwise feel which is nothing, or sadness or loneliness.
BUT Before you decide you’re doomed - HEAR THIS:
Neuroscience has also shown that people who feel have this kind of backwards wiring usually do so as a result of trauma and or neglect.
This means, it’s not in your genes, or how you were born.
It’s a learned, and now instinctive, physiological reaction to pain, that developed in your younger years to help you cope with the uncertainty and stress and neglect of your needs that you experienced at some time in your past.
A Brief Discussion About Personality Disorders
Having said this - there are about 2% of the population that are genetically wired to experience pleasure at the pain of others or of themselves.
They are called Sociopaths.
Some Sociopaths are highly functional in society - in fact it is deemed by clinical studies that many people in positions of great leadership - including fortune 500 ceo’s and politicians - are sociopathic.
And most do use their limitations as strengths and build some pretty amazing things and make the world a better place. Even if they don’t quite fit with most people, they can make their life highly successful when they understand how they approach the world and what to do to have easier relationships with others.
A very small percentage of that 2% of humanity, are nasty pieces of work - these are the serial abusers or even killers. And no matter how uncertain of yourself and what you’re all about, it’s highly unlikely that this is you. I think it’s safe to say that if you’re over the age of 20, you’d know by now…
The facts are, there are waaaay more people who struggle with feelings of disconnection and confusion about the world and relationships, as the result of abuse and neglect - and most of the abuse we will experience in life happens when we are kids, sadly, when you are most vulnerable because you genuinely have the least power you’ll ever have in life and your brain isn’t fully developed yet so you can’t really understand what’s happening around you.
And that’s legitimately really scary.
And when we’re scared, our brain, which is hardwired to find ways to help you feel happy and safe, has a tendency to blame you for whatever is going on - so that you might feel some sense of power and control over whether it happens again.
Even a pipe dream built on nothing feels better than the truth sometimes. Especially when we’re little and powerless.
Fact: You didn’t ask for those things to happen.
Fact: You did not choose that scenario or have power over the health and wellness of the people around you.
Fact: You did not choose where you found yourself and how others cared for you.
Fact: You didn’t even really get to choose how you reacted in those situations - actually. As kids and teens we are far more driven by guesses, assumptions, and instinct - all of which have a tendency to make everything very personal and trend towards thoughts like ‘It’s because I’m not lovable’ ‘It’s because I’m not good enough’ ‘It’s because I’m not smart enough.’
This program makes space for you to be honest with yourself and with me - nothing can change if we don’t have that.
This program will help you answer, once and for all, that nagging question: ‘Is there something wrong with me?’
And I promise, if you are, in fact of that tiny percentage of people who struggle with personality disorders like sociopathy or narcissism or borderline personality disorder etc., this program is still going to give you the ability to understand yourself well and to make choices about how you show caring for yourself and others that prioritize genuine respect and kindness.
In fact, this framework and set of tools that I want to show you is just what you’ve been looking for to help you feel like less of a phony.
I’ve helped many people with those problems to find peace and happiness in life.
I’ve helped many people with anxiety disorders and post traumatic stress disorder and all the nasty coping strategies that you cling to to get some small relief from the chaos and stress you feel inside and around you.
In my professional experience, until you’ve actually given yourself a chance to learn the basics of life and test drive some new approaches to problem solving and getting what you need, you cannot say with confidence what kind of mental health problems or disorders or what have you, are genetically you, vs. just learned coping strategies that have outlived their purpose.
The natural byproduct of you using the tools I teach is that you’ll have the answer to this in just a few months! Years of worrying and wondering - done.
You’ll also find out pretty quickly if you need medication because you are in that percentile whose chemistry is genetically wired differently, and if so, you’ll know what kind would be best and you won’t judge yourself for it - you’ll get on it and you’ll use the tools I teach you to make your healing journey even easier and faster!
So don’t sign up to learn about how life works and how you work if have any doubts about wanting to truly know yourself and see yourself as you are.
If you’re not ready for that - I’m not the right person for you at this time.
The tools I teach you, right from the start, will illuminate the truth, and there’s no going back - you can’t unsee reality.
So, any doubts?
I recommend that you Bookmark this page and come back if you feel differently down the road. Even if that’s 10 minutes from now or 2 years. I’ll be here.
Remember - If you’ve learned anything in the last few minutes it’s that you’re not doing the ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ thing anymore!
You’re going to take the time to figure out what just happened in your brain - what does the science say about why you’d do and think and feel that way? Or why someone else would?
At the very least, before you decide it’s just how you are, and that’s that. Hold yourself accountable to get the data about how your brain works and why, and I’ll bet you’ll find more than one solution to all the problems in your life.
Judging yourself or shutting down to what you think and how you feel only ever turned you against yourself, made you more anxious, and gave people the wrong idea about who you were. So no more of that.
Trust yourself to want to be your best self. No pushing required.